


my head, my heart, my heaven

by nicole_writes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Discussions of loss, Feelings, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Golden Deer Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Golden Deer Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Golden Deer Sylvain Jose Gautier, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pre-Gronder Field
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25901134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicole_writes/pseuds/nicole_writes
Summary: Felix and Ingrid check on Sylvain the night before the Resistance Army marches on Gronder Field.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Ingrid Brandl Galatea & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	my head, my heart, my heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ethereally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethereally/gifts).



> So Eth said sylvixgrid once in the sylvgrid discord this morning and I......spiralled. anyways, they're the ot3 and they deserve a little soft...

“Sylvain.”

Sylvain’s head snapped up and he saw Felix standing in his doorway. Sylvain rubbed a hand over his face, brushing the sleep out of his eyes. He resisted the urge to yawn as Felix let himself into his room. 

“Hey, Fe,” Sylvain said tiredly. “Can I help you?”

“Why are you still up?” Felix asked, folding his arms. 

Sylvain looked down at the bundles of parchment on his desk. “I’m trying to write some letters,” he admitted. 

Felix’s jaw ticked. “They’re not going to listen. My father certainly didn’t.”

Sylvain sighed, rubbing his face again. “Do you think we’re crazy, Fe?”

Felix walked over to Sylvain’s desk and swept his letters into a pile. He picked up a book from Sylvain’s desk and placed it on top, both keeping them neatly stacked and also effectively blocking them from Sylvain’s view. 

“Felix,” Sylvain argued, reaching to move the book, but Felix just slid everything, book and letters combined, back on the desk. 

“Don’t, Sylvain,” he countered. 

Sylvain grabbed Felix’s wrist instead and the Fraldarius heir looked down at him. “I can’t face them out there. Maybe they’ll just stay home if we ask nicely.”

Felix’s gaze darkened. “You’ve seen him. He won’t stop until he or Edelgard or both are dead.”

“But Mercedes? Dedue? Would they follow him blindly down?” Sylvain said, sounding pained. 

“Dedue will,” Felix confirmed. He sighed. “Mercedes will follow because that’s what she believes in.”

Sylvain adjusted his grip on Felix’s wrist so that he was cupping his friend’s hand instead of his wrist. Felix tensed at the movement but didn’t say anything about it. Sylvain, taking the chance he was given, rubbed his thumb in a slow circle over the back of Felix’s hand. He traced a pale white scar: half-moon shaped and more than a few years old. 

Felix pulled away, leaning against the desk and folding his arms again. “You should get some sleep, Sylvain. It’s late.”

Sylvain sighed. “Felix, you realize that since you came in here to interrupt me you’re also being incredibly hypocritical, right?”

Felix frowned. “Shut up.”

For a moment, they were both quiet and the faint gusts of wind from outside were the only sounds that could be heard over their slow, steady breaths. The quietness of the moment was deafening and Sylvain felt himself tear up with no real explanation why. Felix didn’t look at him, so he didn’t notice when Sylvain stared directly into the nearly burnt out lamp on his desk to try and force his tears back. 

“You didn’t have to come with me,” Sylvain said quietly when it feels like the weight of the moment is going to crush him.

“Yes, we did,” Felix replied shortly. “Remember, you weren’t the only one who made that promise, Sylvain.”

Sylvain shook his head. “Come on, Fe, we all know we had stupidly selfish reasons for changing classes. Nobody would have faulted us for not showing up. There is a war going on.”

Felix finally turned to look down at him. He grabbed one of Sylvain’s hands where it rested on the desk by the wrist. With surprising tenderness, Felix rotated Sylvain’s hand until he could see the straight, white scar trio under his wrist. Felix’s index finger ghosted over the marks and Sylvain resisted the urge to shiver. 

“I didn’t think you were being selfish, Sylvain,” he said. “I thought you were being brave.”

Sylvain tugged his hand free, suddenly uncomfortable. “Come on, Felix, we all know I only left because the Professor had the gall to smile at me over dinner once.”

Felix huffed. “Don’t do that. Don’t get defensive and shut me out.”

Sylvain raised an eyebrow. “What? Do you have a monopoly on being emotionally unreachable?”

“Sylvain? Felix?”

They both turned to the door of Sylvain’s room like they had been burned, Felix’s hands snapping back to his side and Sylvain straightening in his chair. Ingrid was standing there, holding the doorframe like its an anchor, with an unreadable expression on her face. 

She was wearing a loose tunic and her hair was loose around her face, free from braids and ribbons. Her fingers fidgeted on the door frame and Sylvain knew she was close to bolting just purely out of instinct. He stood up. 

“Hey, Ing. What are you doing up?”

She bit her lip and stepped into the room, sliding the door closed behind her. She fiddled with a leather string that hung around her neck and Sylvain’s gaze was immediately drawn to the heavy silver ring that hung on it. His chest tightened and he felt incredibly guilty for a moment. 

Felix recognized the ring faster than Sylvain did, as he should have, and he spun, walking to Sylvain’s window, keeping his back to both of them. There was a tension in his shoulders that hadn’t been there before Ingrid’s arrival and Sylvain wants to go to both of them. His heart warred with itself in his chest, but his grief won out so he moved to sit down on his mattress. 

“I was just getting something to eat because I couldn’t sleep and I saw your light on,” Ingrid admitted quietly, stepping further into the room. She was talking about Sylvain’s room, but her eyes were fixed on Felix’s back. 

Sylvain’s lips twitched into a guilty smile. “Got caught up in some work. Fe was just reprimanding me about staying up too late, so don’t worry. I don’t need two lectures on that front.”

“I heard some of what you were talking about,” Ingrid admitted quietly. Felix still hadn’t turned to face her even though she’s standing almost directly behind him. 

Sylvain stiffened. “Ingrid,” he started. 

She shook her head. “Don’t give me that. It was my choice to be here, Sylvain.”

Felix turned around finally, staring at Ingrid. He could look down at her a little bit, which was more than he used to be able to do when they were children. Felix’s amber eyes were sharp in the dim light of the room. 

“Ingrid, you, of all of us, had the least reason to come.”

Ingrid must have felt particularly bold as she inclined her chin and stepped towards Felix so that they were just a breath’s width apart. Sylvain shot to his feet on instinct alone and stood frozen as Ingrid’s green eyes blazed as she stared down Felix. 

“I’m here because I made a promise. You and Sylvain are here for the same reason and I’ve decided to fight for what I believe in. Do not, _ever_ , minimize my choices, Felix,” she said sharply. 

“Claude speaks well,” Sylvain cut in before Felix could retort. Both of his friends turned towards him and Sylvain continued. “He speaks of this future he dreams of with equality and balance and no person who is worth more than any other.” The volume of his voice dropped. “I want to see his world.”

Felix turned his head away from Ingrid. “The Kingdom stands for everything I hate. Knighthood and dying for meaningless systems that just cause more pain than they need to.”

Ingrid held out her hand to Sylvain and, half-numb, he took it, tangling their fingers together. “I believe in Claude’s future. It sounds like a world where we could feel like we belonged.”

Sylvain squeezed her hand. They had never spoken about the drunken kiss he had bestowed upon Ingrid after the ball in the five years since it had happened, but Ingrid spoke with such conviction about everything that it was hard not to see her own dreams laid out. And it was hard not to want to be a part of them.

“The professor will see it through,” Felix said. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “She and Claude will see this through no matter how many people they have to cut down on the way.” 

Sylvain reached for Felix without thinking. He grabbed Felix’s hand and pulled him towards him so quickly that Felix, always unflappable and light on his feet, stumbled into Sylvain’s chest. Still holding Ingrid by the hand, Sylvain trapped Felix into a hug, pulling Ingrid’s arm into it until she stepped around Felix to complete the hug. 

“Nobody is allowed to die on me,” Sylvain said, his voice nearly trembling. “If we have to face them on the battlefield at Gronder then neither of you are ever allowed to die. Not without me.”

Felix was tense in Sylvain’s hug, but Sylvain felt fingers curl into the material of his shirt as Felix gripped it tightly. “You can’t say shit like that and be prepared to fall on a sword for either of us at a moment’s notice,” he grumbled. 

Ingrid shifted, sliding around so that she was standing closer to Sylvain and she pressed her forehead into his upper arm. “We’ve only got each other now, right?” she asked. 

Sylvain loosened his arms. “No, I don’t believe that. I just,” he trailed off, catching Felix’s gaze with his own. His heart twisted. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Felix pushed Sylvain away by the chest. Sylvain rocked back onto his heels, off-balance, and practically dragged Ingrid and Felix with him as he fell onto his ass on his bed. Ingrid tripped and nearly fell onto the bed, only catching herself by slamming a hand on Sylvain’s shoulder to keep upright. Felix staggered, but he stayed on his feet, his hand still tightly grabbing the material of Sylvain’s shirt. 

“You can’t just,” Felix struggled for a moment, exhaling shakily. “You can’t say that, Sylvain.”

Sylvain wrapped his hand around Felix’s. “We already promised, Felix. Together or not at all.”

Ingrid’s hand was pressed against her own chest, curled around the ring. “No more losses,” she said fiercely. 

Felix’s hand dropped from Sylvain’s chest, sliding free of Sylvain’s loose grip. He turned to Ingrid and pulled her into a tight hug. Sylvain could only stare blankly as Felix pressed his face against Ingrid’s shoulder. 

“I lost Glenn and I turned my back on my father and Dimitri,” Felix said lowly. Sylvain was almost surprised to hear Felix say the King’s name. “I’m not losing anyone else.”

Sylvain watched as Ingrid squirmed against Felix, reaching up to pull the tie in his hair loose. Felix’s hug loosened as Ingrid slowly combed her fingers through his shaggy hair, pulling it loose around his shoulders. Her gaze flickered to Sylvain and he wanted to reach for both of them. 

Felix let Ingrid fully flatten down his hair before he lifted his head up. He lifted a hand slowly, carefully, and twisted a lock of her golden hair around his finger. Ingrid’s chin tilted up and Sylvain watched Felix press the faintest kiss to the corner of her mouth. Felix’s hand slid down until he thumbed at the Fraldarius ring that Ingrid still wore. 

“Stay,” Sylvain said to both of them and to neither of them. Ingrid’s head turned towards him, her lips nearly brushing Felix’s again through the motion. He held out a hand and Ingrid took it, moving towards him. 

Felix followed Ingrid like a magnet and soon they both stood over him. Ingrid pushed Sylvain’s knees apart and stepped between them. She brushed a hand through his hair and bent over so that they were so close he could feel her shallow breaths falling across his face. Sylvain straightened up, tilting his head up to meet her and his arms looped around her waist, reaching past her to pull Felix in as well. 

Ingrid kissed him and Felix took his hands and Sylvain closed his eyes. Ingrid pulled back after a moment and tilted her head to look back at Felix. Sylvain tapped her foot lightly with one of his own and she shifted, practically sitting in Sylvain’s lap across the bed. Felix followed her motion and his face lowered, pressing a light kiss to the top of Sylvain’s head. 

“Sylvain,” Ingrid breathed. “There’s no guarantee any of us will come back.”

“We have to,” he said quietly, tugging Felix closer. “I’m not losing either of you and I won’t let us lose each other.”

There was a little bit of awkward shuffling as Felix nudged Sylvain backwards. Sylvain crawled back on the bed, sprawling out. Ingrid stayed at the foot of the bed, but Felix followed Sylvain, his legs straddling Sylvain’s waist. Sylvain’s hand found the back of Felix’s head and guided him down into a firm kiss. Felix’s kiss wasn’t hesitant or gently like Ingrid’s. It was burning and full of all the words that weighed down his chest. 

Finally, Felix broke back and he and Sylvain stared at each other almost breathlessly. Then, Felix shifted, reaching for Ingrid. She took his hand and Felix practically pushed her down next to Sylvain. Sylvain’s arm curled around her waist as she fell into him and he pressed a kiss to her ear as her hair tickled his face. 

Felix leaned down and kissed Ingrid on the lips, placing one of his hands on her jaw and sliding it back into her hair. Ingrid broke the kiss, turning her face into Sylvain’s touch so their noses just barely brushed. Felix rolled off of them, tucking himself on Sylvain’s other side, but reaching across so that he could still have one hand on Ingrid. 

“Together,” Ingrid said. “Tomorrow we go out there together and we face the future together.”

“Okay,” Sylvain agreed. 

The lamp flickered out and none of them moved for the rest of the night, Sylvain’s desperate letters forgotten under an old book on his desk. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the past forgives](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25911349) by [Julx3tte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julx3tte/pseuds/Julx3tte)




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